Book Marketing Scammer Puts Voodoo Curse on Author!

A Literal Literary Loser Lives To Tell About It

By now, I assume you’re familiar with how I handle those book marketing scammers who DM me with: Hello, Great Author, How Are You Today?

I ask them to work upfront and only get paid when they deliver what they promised. (If you’re new here, please click here, here, and here for all the juicy - and insane - details.)

So today, I’m cutting straight to the chase in my chat with “Mary Brooks,” (whose Facebook, for some reason is: https://www.facebook.com/yewande.salahudeen.7. Weird, right?)

After “she” sent me her utterly unoriginal and canned marketing pitch, and I asked some specific follow up questions, this is what transpired:

Mary Brooks: As how. Am Not. Simple the best. Trust me. Have work for so many author like you

Alina Adams: What does this mean? Are you having a stroke? You seem to just be typing random things. Should I call a doctor for you?

MB: I think you love smoking

AA: I see... that is very insightful of you. What makes you think that?

MB: I appreciate your feedback! My perspective comes from analyzing current market trends and proven strategies that have shown success in similar campaigns. By combining these methods, we can create a comprehensive approach that targets multiple avenues for maximum impact. Are you a christian? I'm a christian, I attend TAC, I can't lie

Earlier, I asked “her” to send me the contact info of authors she had successfully marketed. She sent me to “Dave P. Fisher” who assured me that: Mary Brooks is a highly skilled and dedicated professional book marketer I have worked with. Yes, I would definitely recommend her. She has consistently demonstrated excellent expertise and a strong work ethic in book marketing. she did me an author reels and I paid her $500 And I sold numerous amount of books up to 5k book I sold when I followed all her instructions and everything she has to offer me. Cynic that I am, I expressed doubt that such fine grammar came from an actual best-selling author. “Dave” blocked me for asking such questions. When I expressed my doubts to “Mary” our conversation continued thus:

MB: That's the real Dave Alina

AA: No, it's not, I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you. I spoke to his agent directly. You've been scammed. It happens all the time! Authors steal other authors’ identities and books and then sell them from their own sites. He took advantage of you being such an honest Christian, I am so sorry, you were used in a theft. The real Dave's agent is reporting it to the police now. They'll probably want to talk to you. Just explain how it wasn't your fault, you didn't know he was a criminal. I'll back you up, I promise. I'll tell the police you're a good, honest Christian.

MB: I'm a honest christian

AA: I know, that's what I told the police. I hope they believe me!

MB: I don't believe you. Why can't you report to FBI. That will be okay. I'm going to moniya police station now to report

AA: That's great news! Tell me what the FBI says when you get back!

MB: You should report to the FBI. I worship oraclen too. I do make sacrifice. oracle will judge between you and dave and the lier will kick the the basket within 2 days. I'm already in the power ground. I have tell gods your name and dave. You will die within 2 days if you lie to me. Tell me the truth so i will talk to the gods not to kill you

This, for the record, happened exactly a week ago. I am still alive. So I guess it turns out Dave was the “lier” after all! (There was also a photo sent of what I think may have been a severed goat head. I wanted to use it to illustrate this post but, alas, “Mary” has deleted it and refuses to resend, despite repeated requests.)

Nonetheless, “she” has been emailing me daily, asking if I am ready to move forward with the book promotion “she” offered me.

What do you think? Should I go through with it? After all, “she” has access to powers the rest of us can’t imagine!

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To celebrate my still being among the living, I am engaging in some retrospection (or maybe I’m just watching my life flash before my eyes). This involves me looking back upon the very first YouTube video my daughter and I made for our channel. Enjoy the first-installment weirdness, and, if you haven’t yet, please like and subscribe for more!