I love that you pulled back the curtain here. I thought both versions were fantastic- so maybe just "different" rather than one being worse or better... However, it was hard not to notice that the published version could be construed as being more biased. On the one hand, yes your background and credentials make you an authority on the topic, but in a typical reported piece, we don't hear a ton about the journalist writing it. I had to wonder if I read this piece from the perspective of a non-Jew, whether I'd be thinking, "Of course she's aggrieved. She's one of them." In this case I'm not 100% sure that establishing your authority was worth it.
Interesting - thanks for sharing. I recently pitched a story on the unveiling of the first historical marker in the Borscht Belt, and the editor wanted me to make it a personal story about my own family's hotel, with a picture of me at the top. I passed, but maybe I should try Jewish Journal - your perspective as a schools consultant is important here, so while I understand preferring the reporting angle, I also understand why the editor wanted a personal angle here.
Overall I preferred your original although I did think adding the advice at the end was good. I felt that in their version there was way too much up front about you and what you do. It made it sound like you had just written the article to promote your services. And I felt that their version toned down the actual anti-Semitism and its impact.
It was a shift from a news story to service journalism from an expert point of view. I'm a big fan of service journalism so I thought the edited version made sense for the pub and the audience. Thanks for showing us an example of how you worked with an editor!
Different. they took out a lot of stats. I'm happy I don't have any kids in schools. I'm Jewish, and after reading Jonathan Schneer's "The Balfour Declaration," a few years ago, i realized that most American Jews don't know out own history. But worse, now due to our current political situation, I believe Trump has given carte blanche to racist and anti-semites. Don't say . "What about the Kushners?" because any Jew that ignores that Trump can't be trusted is fooling themselves.
I love that you pulled back the curtain here. I thought both versions were fantastic- so maybe just "different" rather than one being worse or better... However, it was hard not to notice that the published version could be construed as being more biased. On the one hand, yes your background and credentials make you an authority on the topic, but in a typical reported piece, we don't hear a ton about the journalist writing it. I had to wonder if I read this piece from the perspective of a non-Jew, whether I'd be thinking, "Of course she's aggrieved. She's one of them." In this case I'm not 100% sure that establishing your authority was worth it.
Interesting - thanks for sharing. I recently pitched a story on the unveiling of the first historical marker in the Borscht Belt, and the editor wanted me to make it a personal story about my own family's hotel, with a picture of me at the top. I passed, but maybe I should try Jewish Journal - your perspective as a schools consultant is important here, so while I understand preferring the reporting angle, I also understand why the editor wanted a personal angle here.
Overall I preferred your original although I did think adding the advice at the end was good. I felt that in their version there was way too much up front about you and what you do. It made it sound like you had just written the article to promote your services. And I felt that their version toned down the actual anti-Semitism and its impact.
It was a shift from a news story to service journalism from an expert point of view. I'm a big fan of service journalism so I thought the edited version made sense for the pub and the audience. Thanks for showing us an example of how you worked with an editor!
Different. they took out a lot of stats. I'm happy I don't have any kids in schools. I'm Jewish, and after reading Jonathan Schneer's "The Balfour Declaration," a few years ago, i realized that most American Jews don't know out own history. But worse, now due to our current political situation, I believe Trump has given carte blanche to racist and anti-semites. Don't say . "What about the Kushners?" because any Jew that ignores that Trump can't be trusted is fooling themselves.
Thank you everybody for chiming in, you really gave me a lot to think about! I appreciate you reading!