Questions You Should Never Ask In Publishing

A Literal Literary Loser Lays Low

If death and taxes are inevitable, so is publishing a book - then getting inundated with spam from self-described promoters promising to make it a best seller.

If I post something about my book on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc… instantly, there’s a comment or DM from someone who suggests: Let us work together! We will promote your book on many platforms!

I ask what platforms they can promote me on that I can’t promote myself on, since they are currently promoting themselves on the same platforms that I am promoting myself on?

The response comes back: I am a Digital marketer and SEO Expart (sic). I can promote your Amazon book. I will promote your book on all social media. Do you want to discuss about work?

I… did not.

Then there are the offers that come in over e-mail. Sometimes they are about my most recent title. Sometimes they are about a title from this decade. Sometimes they are about a title long out of print.

But all promise more or less the same thing:

Our new platform that will help your book generate more sales and reviews. 

We do this by:?

1.We send the newsletter to our 25,000 subscribers.

2.We will list your book on Home page. We get 60k to 80k visitors per month on our home page.

3.We will send out 90 Promotional tweets and post on our different social media channels.

4.Your book will be listed on our site for 2 years with the purchase link of the book.

So, What are you waiting for?

I could say I am waiting for a scam that at least proofreads their spelling and grammar, but that would be inaccurate.

What I am actually waiting for is a scam that, when I ask for the contact info of a happy customer so I can confirm the validity of their service, doesn’t come back with a variation on: We would like to tell you that we cannot share our clients details as this is against our policy. We would like to tell you that we have been doing this for many years. We have so many clients who regularly avail our packages. But we assure you that our team will work to the best of their ability so you can trust us for once. 

Yeah… my last two novels are set in the former USSR. Trust but verify (ver no pro’ver - it’s pithier in Russian) is the name of the game.

So these are some questions you should never ask in publishing. Well, not if you want to get answers, anyway.

And here is something else you should never do: You shouldn’t expect people to keep their promises.

Almost a year ago, I wrote about a particularly patronizing rejection I received from a small publisher:

Thank you so much for submitting your book to (redacted) for publishing consideration!

We appreciate your initiative and dedication!

I feel so awful to let you down but our editor has decided not to publish your book right now.

I’m sure we’ll be kicking ourselves later when it becomes a best seller.

Please feel free to bookmark this email and let us know when you do publish it and we would be more than happy to share your success story on social media.

(And then they went on to pitch me their editorial services. Full email at the link.)

You know me. I’m an innocent, trusting soul. When the book they turned down, “My Mother’s Secret: A Novel of the Jewish Autonomous Region” hit #1 in two Amazon best-seller categories and broke the top 500 in paid books overall, I sent the news to the publisher, along with a screen-shot, and thanked them for their very generous offer to share my success story on their social media.

As of today, they have not shared my success story on their social media. I am also unaware of them kicking themselves. I am stunned and shocked.

Could they have been lying about that, the way their colleagues lie about how many best-sellers they’ve promoted? Could they have only been interested in me paying them for editorial services and not been invested in my success at all?

This is a question everyone in publishing must ask. If they don’t want to get scammed.