How I Spectacularly Botched My Pre-Orders (And How I Succeeded)
A Literal Literary Loser Lives Up to Literal Literary Losing
I have never pre-ordered a book. I am big on immediate gratification, and if I am buying a product, I want it NOW, not a month from now. I assumed others were the same way.
However, for my May 1, 2025 release, “Go On Pretending,” my publisher, History Through Fiction, asked me to focus on pre-orders.
"OK,” I said, “I love trying new things.” (This is blatantly untrue. I hate trying new things. I am terrified of trying new things. The mere thought of trying new things sends me spiraling into anxiety and catastrophizing, convinced that I will absolutely, positively fail at trying this new thing. But I want to be the sort of person who loves trying new things, so I keep saying it in the hope of manifesting that person, any day now. A prize to anyone who can pinpoint how many Gen Z buzzwords I used in just the last paragraph.)
So I focused on pre-orders.
How does one generate pre-orders? I had no idea.
I decided to utilize a strategy that had worked well for sales of my November 2022 book, “My Mother’s Secret: A Novel of the Jewish Autonomous Region” — guest posts on blogs that covered topics which might be of interest to potential readers of “Go On Pretending,” as well as author interviews on blogs for writers and readers.
Because “Go On Pretending” is set in the world of early soap operas transitioning from radio to television along with the Soviet Union, and features an interracial romance between a Jewish woman and an African-American man, the following were the guest posts I published:
January 2025
The Jewish Woman Who Informed My Entire Career (and Life)
So how many books did I sell in January? Three.
That’s OK, I told myself, it was early yet.
February 2025
A Show Don’t Tell Example of Making a Scene Stronger
The Jewish Woman Who Invented Soap Operas
Is It Time For Women To Reclaim the Soap Opera?
So how many books did I sell in February? Nine.
That, I admit, was particularly disappointing. I wrote The Jewish Woman Who Invented Soap Operas for Kveller. The last piece I wrote for them, in March 2021, 25 Years Before Bridgerton, I Wrote the First Jewish Regency Romance, sold 40 copies that day, and 60 that month.
March 2025
Soap Operas, Shakespeare & Secrets
Novel Excerpt: Go On Pretending
Historical Figures in Historical Fiction: Soap Queen Irna Phillips
Words With a Wordsmith: Alina Adams
So how many books did I sell in March? Zero.
That’s right: Zero. I did not sell a single copy of “Go On Pretending” in March.
Now, a pessimist might think that meant the book wasn’t any good. And it well may be that the book isn’t any good. But the book isn’t out yet. Which means NOBODY KNOWS THAT YET. Later on, the book might not sell due to negative reviews. But there are no negative reviews yet. (I can make excuses: An Amazon glitch made the book unavailable for sale as a paperback for most of the month. But I didn’t direct folks to Amazon. I directed them to the publisher’s site, where it was available all month long. In all formats)
As I’ve written over and over and over on this Substack and elsewhere, when it comes to book sales, nobody knows anything. Nobody knows what causes a book to sell. Nobody knows what causes a book not to sell. My assumption continues to be that, like me, readers don’t want to pre-order a book and wait for it. They want to order a book and receive it immediately, especially if it’s an e-book. That’s the whole point of an e-book!
Guest blogs might drive “awareness,” a favorite word of every book marketing scammer, but they do not drive sales. At least, not pre-orders. At least, not for me.
April 2025
How Are These (Soviet) Jews Different From All Other Jews?
Five Television Milestones We Owe To Irna Phillips
How many books did I sell in April? I don’t know. I haven’t received that statement yet.
But here is what I do know: When I stopped focusing on guest blogs and appealed directly to readers who’d already bought any of my books sometimes in the past, I sold enough pre-orders on Amazon to, first, have “Go On Pretending” go to #2 on their Hot New Releases Historical Russian Fiction ranking (behind Martin Cruz Smith and his ongoing Arkady Renko series, which had a movie adaptation, for Pete’s sake!), and then, eventually, to #2 on on their Top Historical Russian Fiction ranking overall (still behind Cruz Smith).
So what have I learned from this?
Asking total strangers to pre-order your book on the basis of a guest blog where I was witty, profound and intriguing? Doesn’t work. At least, it doesn’t work for me. I’m sure other people have mastered that step brilliantly.
Asking people who know my books are good, who know me and how witty, profound, and intriguing I can be, to pre-order my book? That works. At least, that works for me.
So here I am, in all my witty, profound, intriguing, and only slightly self-deprecating glory, asking you to please pre-order my book and prove my hypothesis right.
And if, like me, you are more into the immediate gratification thing, please join me on Saturday, May 3 in Brooklyn, NY at 6 PM for my official book launch. There, you can buy the book, pick it up immediately, and even have me sign it, on the spot. What could be better than that? RSVP at this link.
If you can’t make it in person, there will be a remote option. Purchase the book and watch me sign it on the spot, then have it shipped to you. That will be almost as good, right?
I guess I’ll find out. And report back to you here, as only a Literal Literary Loser can! Stay tuned!