“Do You Want to Know All the Ways in Which You’ve Been Screwed Over?”

A Literal Literary Loser's Literary Legal Losses

When I sold my first book, a Regency romance novel ultimately titled “The Fictitious Marquis,” in 1994, I didn’t have an agent. I signed the first contract AVON Books sent me. I did the same with my second Regency romance, “Thieves at Heart.” And with my first contemporary romance, “Annie’s Wild Ride.”

I then moved to New York City, where I worked on a TV show produced by Linda Gottlieb (best-known for producing “Dirty Dancing” and “One Life to Live”). When Linda found out I’d been selling my books on my own, she sent me to an agent friend of hers. That friend asked to see my most recent contract. She read it. She asked, “Do you want to know all the ways in which you’ve been screwed over?”

I told her I did not.

This agent sold my next three books - before kicking off my long and still ongoing streak of agent and editor abandonment. (See here for all the humiliating details.)

As I wrote here, I am now, once again, submitting work without an agent. For several of the offers I received, I could tell they were bad even without expert advice.

But, this time, when I received one that intrigued me, I didn’t just sign blindly as I had in the past. This time, I hired an expert to look it over.

Their first round of feedback convinced me that a writer who represents herself has a fool for a client.

Clauses that I thought were straightforward and nonnegotiable came back with questions about:

• “Term of contract” versus “Term of Copyright” for revision of rights

• Sublicense translation, UK, or audio rights

• Dramatic and performance rights

• An extended stated revision period

• Various format royalty shares

• Number of complimentary Author’s copies

• Sales thresholds

• Global distribution

Every time they would email me to ask, “Do you want (this)?” I would reply, “I did not know I wanted (this), but, yes, now I want (this) very much!” Even if I didn’t know exactly what (this) was. Especially if I didn’t know exactly what (this) was.

Contrary to when I first started, these days there are so many more opportunities than just Big Publishers, Small Publishers, and Self-Publishing. Each possibility has multiple options within it. It’s simply impossible to keep track of them all or to understand the various minutia - and also find time to write books worth publishing.

Just hiring a lawyer isn’t enough. Even if they’re an expert in contracts, literary contracts are their own seperate beast. Every industry has their jargon, their coded language, their tricks, and publishing is no exception.

I won’t ever be going it alone again. Because I’m hoping I will never again hear the question, “Do you want to know all the ways in which you’ve been screwed over?”