Book Marketer Admits They Can't Sell Books! (For a Profit, Anyway.)

A Literal Literary Loser Extracts a Confession

We interrupt our regular weekly schedule of shameless self-promotion — “Go On Pretending” is available for pre-order now! Buy direct from the publisher and receive your copy three months early, plus a second book FREE! — to remind that any “book promotion expert” who contacts you is not only bad at self-promotion, but even worse at book promotion, as you can see from our verbatim conversation below:

Kelli Yates: Hello Alina

Alina Adams: Hi.

KY: I'm sorry to intrude your privacy. I came across your profile while scrolling on my fyp, and I couldn't resist not sending a DM

AA: Why?

KY: Is fascinating

AA: What is?

KY: Your set up and your books

AA: What about them? Which ones have you read?

KY: THE FIGURE SKATING MYSTERY SERIES

AA: What about it?

KY: Figure Skating Mystery Series follows TV researcher Bex Levy as she investigates murders, scandals, and secrets in the high-stakes world of competitive figure skating. From controversial judging decisions to deadly competitions, each story blends mystery, humor, and insider knowledge, making it a must-read for fans of both cozy mysteries and figure skating drama.

AA: Why are you telling me the plot of my own book?

KY: I'm saying what I read about the book

AA: OK, but, why? I don't understand. I know what my book is about.

KY: You asked me what I read about it, that's why I'm saying the book is all about. Do you mind me asking you few questions? How many books have you published? I would love to explore your writing

AA: Visit alinaadams.com and read all about me!

KY: I've read through it all

AA: Which books will you buy?

KY: You did justice to all your book's, i must say I feel jealous of your writing skills

AA: Great, let me know which ones you've read!

(Two weeks later….)

KY: Hello. How are you doing?

AA: Fabulous!

KY: Nice one. How about I handle the promotion for your books, so you can focus on your writing while your book gets the attention it deserves, helping you reach a wider audience and increase your sales?

AA: Why would I do that? I don't know you. I don't know if you're any good. I don't know if you have any experience in doing promotion. I don't know if you're someone who will steal my money and do nothing. What a weird thing to offer a total stranger!

KY: I know it's weird to offer such to a stranger, but it isn't a bad idea to give it a try, after all we all meet once.

AA: We've met before? Where? When?

KY: Steal your money?? Never I will never do that

AA: Oh, OK. So you'll do the work first and then I pay you? Great idea!

KY: What I mean is that, we all might not know each other before but we can build a strong relationship from one day, there's a quote that say " journey of thousands miles start with just a step"

AA: I am so excited that you offered to prove you won't steal my money by doing the promotional work first and then me paying you once it's a success. What a wonderful idea. I accept!

KY: At least, you can pay 50% of the payment and after work done, you'll pay the remaining balance I think this is okay, right

AA: Oh, no, I wouldn't insult you like that. You wanted us to get to know each other first and then I can trust you. I want to do things the way you suggested. So you do the work first and then when I see results from your promotion, I pay you. It's fairer that way to you.

KY: Can I trust on that? Because I've done a lot of free promotion for most people and later they don't pay me it hurts, they run away with my money.

AA: I would never hurt you like that! Who do you think I am? I absolutely respect you and believe that you are a great marketer. That's why I'm going to let you do the work first and when you deliver what you promised, I will pay you. It's the least I can do to show how wonderful I think you are!

KY: That's why I'm thinking that you pay 50% then after the promotion, you'll pay the remaining balance. I think that is okay right

AA: No, no, that would be too insulting to you. It would suggest that I don't believe you can do 100% of the work. I would never be so mean! I have an idea, why don't you tell me which of my books you think you want to promote?

KY: Sorry for the late reply, I went to have a meeting with one of my clients. I couldn't find your books on amazon

AA: Oh, that's weird, because if you look up at our earlier conversation, you said that you had read my books and were in awe of my writing. Did you forget that you already read them?

KY: It's alright if you don't trust me yet, it can be like that sometimes

AA: Well, now that you're telling me you can't find my books after you told me you read them and loved them, I really am wondering if I can trust you now.

KY: Oh yeah, sorry I forgot, let me check our previous conversation. Actually, I've forgotten, there are a lot of work at hand that's why, my apologies

AA: That's OK. I'm sure you're honest, just busy. So now that you've had time to check - which of my books did you want to promote?

KY: I think we can start with " murder on ice" for book reviews

AA: You want to review my book?

KY: Do you have book trailer for any of your books, to keep the audience in suspense and will want to buy your books

AA: How many books will a book trailer sell?

KY: Is part of the promotion, some audience might have interest in your book but they'll be skeptical about the review, that is not much and you've published "murder on ice " since 2011 and it has 34 review.

AA: So you will write a review and make it 35? Does that really matter?

KY: Not likely that, one book trailer per book

AA: How many books will making one book trailer sell?

KY: Do you have a book trailer, and do you know what it means?

AA: Yes, you will make a book trailer to promote my book, and then people will watch the trailer and buy my book. How many books will people buy after seeing the book trailer you make?

KY: It depends. Your book will be promoted to a number of people, and you will find your targeted audience there people who will be interested in your book so there's no specific figure on how many review you will be having but what's sure is after the promotion you will surely get reviews on your book

AA: But I don't want reviews, I want sales

KY: Sure, they will buy your book and read before leaving reviews, so definitely you will make sale's

AA: OK, great. How many sales and how much will you charge for those sales?

KY: I would like to work with your budget Kindly let me know your budget first

AA: Oh, no, I can't do that, that would be insulting you and your work. You tell me how much your work is worth and how many books you promise I'll sell.

KY: Your budget determines how many salss you will get That's why I asked about your budget so I can know the marketing plan to draw for you and the sales you will be receiving

AA: But doesn't it cost the same to make a book trailer no matter what my budget is? Why would the cost to make a book trailer vary based on my budget?

KY: Okay To create a book trailer, I charge $150, but because this is my first time working with you, I am collecting $100 What do you think?

AA: So how many books will I sell for a $100 trailer?

KY: Many as possible

AA: But how many do you promise for $100?

KY: I can promise three, but you can see more than that

AA: You want me to pay you $100 to sell THREE books??????? Murder on Ice sells for 99 cents. I make 33 cents on each sale. YOU WANT ME TO SPEND $100 TO MAKE LESS THAN $1???????

KY: You know you really have to invest to make your profits in the literary world. The $100 is for book trailer and promotion

AA: INVEST 100 DOLLARS TO MAKE 1 DOLLAR? DO YOU THINK I'M CRAZY?

KY: Then, what's your budget?

AA: It doesn't matter. If it costs 100 dollars to sell 3 books then there is no way I can make money with you.

KY: What do you now want?

AA: I want to make more money than I spend.

KY: Really, do you think that can work?

AA: Why would I spend money if I can't make money? That's not how businesses work. Do you spend more money promoting your business than making fees?

KY: You don't really have much audience to buy your book, and I want to help you promote your book to gain more visibility and make more sales. Book Trailer is an item to help your book's stand out among others

AA: I understand, but how silly to spend more money than I'll make, no? Do you think I just want to sell books and don't care about money? In that case, I can just give them away for free.

KY: I didn't say you won't make money, you'll surely make sales. We are all talking about money, you have to sow for you to reap bountifully

AA: I have no idea what that means.

KY: Just give it a try and see yourself making a lot of sales.

AA: OK. you make the trailer and promote my book, and when I make $100 I will pay you $100. That way we're even and fair.

KY: I can't do that, I have fees to pay in the platforms I use

AA: Me, too! But I was hoping you could show me how to sow for you to reap bountifully. Otherwise, I just don't understand how it's supposed to work. But since you've done it lots of times, I figured you'd demonstrate for me.

KY: I think you don't really have depth understanding about what book trailer is.

AA: I'm sure I don't, but I'm excited to have you demonstrate.

KY: You want me to demonstrate how the book trailer is going to work out for you to make sales right? Are you with me? Let me explain how it works. One book trailer per one book, is not possible to use two or more book for a trailer. So if I make book trailer for one of your book, as your audience are watching it and they will want to read the book and they'll buy your book, another will watch and buy, so that is how it'll be. You'll make a lot of sales on just one book, so if you see how everything goes, is now in your decision either to make another book trailer for your remaining books. I hope you can understand with this.

AA: Great. Make the trailer and when I see that it works, I'll pay you. I understand perfectly.

For those who are curious, this was last weekend, and I have yet to reap anything, bountifully or otherwise.

I’ve gotten to the point where I receive so many of these, most aren’t worth publishing, since they are more or less the same. But I was intrigued when “Kelli” seemed surprised that I expected to actually make a profit on my book sales, asking, “Really, do you think that can work?”

Very often, in the writing groups I belong to, people boast that, “I sold 200 books this week” or “I sold 50,000 books this year.” But when I ask how much they spent in advertising, most of the time, they admit that they spent more than they earned. I am assured that this will change any minute, as the book sales pick up momentum.

I have to admit, I’m cynical about that. Like “Kelli” (only in reverse), I wonder, “Really, do you think that can work?”

What has been your experience with paying for promotion? Do you find the money you make in return is worth it?

Let me know in the Comments!