3 Book Marketing Terms We Guarantee You Don't Know

A Literal Literary Loser Allows a Lesson

I know, I know. At this point, doesn’t it feel like I’ve heard absolutely everything every book marketing scammer on the internet has had to say? You’ve read my previous posts. We’ve had some extensive, sometimes week long conversations. But I’m a big enough person to admit when I don’t know something. Please enjoy this slightly edited conversation between me and one Siani Stuart, who taught me some marketing terms I’d never heard of. Have you?

Siani Sturt: am not a scammer

Alina Adams: Prove it. Work upfront only get paid when you've delivered what you've promised.

SS: i can't do that you know i we need to buy some tools

AA: Oh, you want me to give you money to buy ads? I can buy ads without you.

SS: okay am not using only ads i have another plan for you. madam have to buy some tools for the promotion

AA: If it requires buying something, I can do it myself, what do I need you for? I thought you actually had skills you were offering. What can you do for me that I can't do for myself?

SS: Actually you can't do it yourself. Yeah because there are many strategy am going to use to promote it and many website. okay am going to explain everything to you ma'm. okay have you heard of amazon?

AA: Yes.

SS: i know there are many things you can do to get your books popular on amazon. i will help you to do active readers and people will also rate your books by giving you 5 star and they will be buying your books

AA: How can you guarantee people will rate my books 5 stars? What if my book is terrible?

SS: i will help you to do 1. Sakasoko campaign

2. Aspadi campaign

3. cojusoko ads

AA: What are those things? I have never heard of them.

SS: this are the list of my working plan and it really work for many people i have used it for. yeah they are new promotion strategy that i figured out. the first one i mention works out like this..  the sakasoko campaign: will enable readers and lovers to obtain the book, a list of them is created. and direct communication is maintained.

Aspadi campaign: this campaign will make readers aware of both your books and website who are unaware of it.

cojusoko ads: will make readers and reviewers to review you books and it will surely make sales.

wait don't mind me asking pls can i know your age

AA: Why do you need to know my age?

SS: because you take things too long

AA: Too long to do what?

SS: just forget it

(Next day….)

SS: hello madam. how are you doing. how is promotion going

the first one i mention works out like this..  the sakasoko campaign: will enable readers and lovers to obtain the book, a list of them is created. and direct communication is maintained.

Aspadi campaign: this campaign will make readers aware of both your books and website who are unaware of it.

cojusoko ads: will make readers and reviewers to review you books and it will surely make sales.

AA: We didn't start this promotion, so how can you ask how it's going?

SS: i have use it for many people and it work

AA: But why are you asking me how it's going?

SS: dose three promotion are good for your books

AA: What does that sentence mean?

SS: i mean dose three plan are good for your books promotion

AA: what does "dose three plan" mean? Your English is very bad if you think you have written a sentence. How can you promote my books if you don't speak English? My books are written in English.

SS: Hey lady I'm here to help you with your book promotion. you are tek. (That DM deleted, replaced with) hey lady am here to help you for your book promotion you are telling me my English is bad if you don't trust you can block me

(Next day)

SS: hi madam

***

So there you have it: 3 book marketing terms we guarantee you’ve never heard of.

Or did I get it all wrong? Are these actually three, well-documented tenets of the book marketing trade, and I’m the one who is foolish for not using them?